It's late and I'm sitting on the couch with some TV game show playing quietly in the background and the hum of a breast pump is sounding more and more like it may be talking to me. Have I lost my mind? I glance around a room, filled with toys haphazardly left laying around from a long day of entertaining a 5 month old and an attempt to keep myself sane. I really should straighten up before heading to bed, but let's be honest, bed just sounds so much more appealing than straightening up toys that will be brought right back out in the morning to allow my child to expand her mind and encourage her development. I sit here and relax, winding down before bed, it's my alone time, my quiet time, my time to think and relish on the day's events. This is my life, my sometimes chaotic life. I think of the sweet smiles I am graced with every morning, the look in her eyes when she learns something new, the way she fights me during nap times and eventually passes out with a peaceful look on her face, milk drunk. I think about how amazing it feels when my husband comes home from work and I know that the time is brief in the evenings, but we get to have those moments together, the three of us. It may just be playing on the floor and eating dinner quickly while our daughter plays alone, but it's our time, it's time we will never get back. It's time that's slipping away much too quickly. I think about putting her down for the night and hope she has sweet dreams. These thoughts make me realize how truly blessed I am. This life, it's perfectly imperfect and I'm ok with that. We have bad days, we have pleasant days and days that I wish we could put on repeat, but the truth is all of our days combined are what makes us, us. We may be a family that functions in chaos, but we live a life full of love and we experience true joy and that's sometimes hard to find. It's my life and I want to talk about every detail of this perfect, blessed little life I live.
I encourage you to think about your day, truly think about it. Look for all the perfect little imperfections. Realize how beautiful chaos is when it's spent with family. Relish these moments, love big, laugh hard and live in the moment.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.