It's hard to believe this year is coming to a close. I feel like 2015 just began.
As a family, we have been through so much, grown so much, and learned to surf the waves of life.
I entered 2015 in such a fog. A new mom, covered in breastmilk, spit up, unwashed hair, rocking nursing tanks and pajama pants. A new mom who was still in those hazy early days of figuring out how this new mom life would be, searching for our new normal, and just praying to make it through the day in one piece.
I've grown, I've learned to live unashamed of who I am, of who God created me to be. I've loved, lived bigger, and trusted in where my life is going. God has been so good to us this year, through the ups and downs. He has taught us to lean on Him, let Him carry us, and that sometimes, we just have to step out blindly on faith and trust that He has us. We've learned that loss hurts, it hurts so bad. Through losing our precious angel baby, we've also learned that the pain of loss will never go away, but it does numb. And it's okay to have bad days, but that we don't have to remain in that place. God has shown us that by leaning on Him, we can grieve our loss, and keep going. I've learned that it's okay for my faith to be shaken, but that I can stand strong knowing that God has a plan for my life.
We've been shown through a tiny human being what earthly love is. There is no love like the love God has for us, but this tiny one has shown us a real love as well. She's tried us, scared us, loved us, laughed at us, with us, cried, and grown so much over this past year. She's taught me what it is to be a mother. Through her, I've learned to trust my motherly instincts, my gut, and that there may not be an instruction book for being a mom, but together we can navigate through each day.
I've learned that friendship is so important, but it's so hard. We all find it so easy to make an excuse about how busy our days are, how busy life is, then the days go by, the year grows short, and you realize it's been weeks, even months since you last spoke or saw one another. I hope to learn to slow down, build relationships, friendships that will grow and become more intimate. Friendships that benefit us in multiple ways. Friendships that will last a lifetime, through the good and the bad.
Family has taught me so much as well. We are constantly in each other's lives, we can't pick and choose who family is. We may not always get along, heck some days we may not even like each other and that's ok. But, we always know that when needed, they will be there.
I pray 2016 brings us all a year of growth, of joy, and of pure unending love.
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11