It's isolating. It's dark. It makes me feel like my world is caving in. Life is crashing all around me like ominous waves in the midst of a stormy ocean. I just want to scream for help, for someone to grab my hand and pull me up. In the same breath, I just want to curl up in a dimly lit room and be alone. I want so badly to go out and do things with friends, with or without kids in tow. I want to be social and friendly. I want to be myself, unafraid of what people may say or think about me. I want to feel the presence of friendship, the joy in fellowship, the warmth of someone. I fight the battle daily. Every morning I would prefer to lay in bed. Find something to keep the kids occupied and not have to face the day. Some days we get up and get moving. Others I take my time and find myself isolating. The longing to be alone calls so strongly to me. I have control, I know I do, but some days, depression wins.
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